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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751880">just a simple touch can set you free</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/minimitchell/pseuds/minimitchell'>minimitchell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5 Times, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Public Display of Affection, unseen scenes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:15:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,788</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751880</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/minimitchell/pseuds/minimitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There is someone who understands though. </p>
<p>Someone, who’s been there himself and who has proven to Callum time and time again that he gets what’s going on in Callum’s head, even when there’s a war going on inside of him that he can’t seem to follow himself. </p>
<p>Ben. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>5 times casual affection or, how they got from the coming out to their date in e20</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>just a simple touch can set you free</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy one year anniversary to callum's coming out!<br/>basically, this was just an excuse to write soft, early ben &amp; callum.<br/>thanks for reading and if you enjoyed it, please leave a kudos or a comment. &lt;3</p>
<p>(tumblr: minimitchell)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>[1]</strong> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>12:37. </p>
<p>The number is defiantly staring back at Callum from his phone screen, illuminating the room around him when it lights up for the at least tenth time that night. He could swear that it showed this exact number the last time he checked his phone as well, even though that must have been at least five minutes ago. For some reason, time is not passing tonight and sleep also evades him, no matter how often he turns to the other side and closes his eyes. </p>
<p>He’s really trying but for some reason his brain just won’t leave him be, replaying the whole day again and again. Shouldn’t he feel freed and like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders now that he was officially and irreversibly out of the closet? </p>
<p>It’s not like he regrets kissing Ben or actually proclaiming out loud that he’s gay to the whole Vic, including his<em> dad</em>, of course he doesn’t. So he isn’t sure what exactly is keeping him awake right now; keeps him from falling into a peaceful and relieved sleep. </p>
<p>He has the quick thought of waking Stuart and taking him up on his offer to have a celebratory beer that he brushed off earlier in favor of wanting to be alone for a few hours and processing everything in peace. He wouldn’t know where to start though, wouldn’t know what to say or what to talk about with his brother right now, seeing as he can’t even make sense of his feelings right now, let alone try to condense them into words. </p>
<p>There is someone who understands though. </p>
<p>Someone, who’s been there himself and who has proven to Callum time and time again that he gets what’s going on in Callum’s head, even when there’s a war going on inside of him that he can’t seem to follow himself. </p>
<p>Ben. </p>
<p>Callum can’t help but remember the way Ben had looked at him after he had kissed him outside the Vic this afternoon; the way his face had scrunched up in such an openly affectionate way, how happy he seemed at the prospect of going on a date – a real, exclusive date this time – with Callum. </p>
<p>The thought makes him itch to reach over and grab his phone from the nightstand again, dying to text him and have him guide Callum in this journey one more time; let him make sense of the whirlwind going on in his head. He hesitates though, because he’s not sure if Ben would want him to text him right now. Sure, Callum had said he’d drop Ben a text and they’ll figure everything out from there but now that he actually wants to do it, he’s not so sure anymore.  </p>
<p>In the end, he figures he’s been the bravest he’s been in probably his whole life today anyway and standing up to his dad is definitely more intimidating than texting the guy he’s more than a little infatuated with and who he knows likes him back now. </p>
<p>He types out a little <em>hey, are you awake? </em>and sends it without giving himself time to doubt his decision again, following it up with <em>sorry if you’re not</em> when he remembers that Ben maybe has to be up early to bring Lexi to school or something. </p>
<p>It doesn’t take long for his phone to ping with an incoming message – much faster than he would’ve anticipated. </p>
<p>
  <em> Ben:</em>
  <em>i </em>
  <em>am. you okay? </em>
</p>
<p>He thinks about texting him an affirmative but to be completely honest, he doesn’t know if he’s okay. He doesn’t know what he feels; can’t seem to get a grip on one emotion long enough to figure out what it is. </p>
<p><em> can you come meet me in the park? </em> </p>
<p>Callum notices too late that it sounds a lot like a come on, not much different than the last text he sent Ben with content similar to this one, and he thinks about clarifying that he only wants to talk, or sit or just be in Ben’s company in general really, but Ben answers before he can type out anything else, a resolute <em>course! </em>staring back at him on the screen. </p>
<p>It doesn’t take him long to get to the park and he sits down at one of the benches while he waits for Ben to arrive as well – though he avoids it being <em>the </em>bench for fear that Ben could misinterpret wanting to meet here. He doesn’t think he wants that to happen in public again, if it were to happen again. </p>
<p>Ben’s wearing grey joggers when he finally comes into view, a pair of glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. It makes him look incredibly soft; approachable in a way he doesn’t often look like when it’s not just the two of them somewhere. He’s holding a mug in his hands that looks like it came from his own home and Callum is a little overwhelmed when he sets it down in front of him on the wooden table and it turns out to be a hot chocolate, mini marshmallows swimming at the top. </p>
<p>“Can’t sleep?”, Ben asks as he sits down on the bench next to Callum. </p>
<p>Callum shakes his head in favor of actually answering him, taking a sip from the mug Ben has just given him. It’s still hot, which means that Ben made it just before he came over here. The realization makes him feel warmer than the hot chocolate ever could. </p>
<p>“Shouldn’t I feel relieved or something? Now that I’ve actually said the words.” </p>
<p>Ben blows out a slow breath, waiting until Callum finally meets his eyes in the dark night that surrounds them. They’re bathed in the light of the few streetlights, but they’re so far away that they only just light up the area where they’re sitting, turning the blue of Ben’s eyes into a steely grey. </p>
<p>“You did a life-changing thing today, Callum. That’s gonna take some getting used to. There’s no one way to feel after coming out. But you can start being yourself now, for you, without always looking over your shoulder. You <em>can </em>feel relieved, Callum. You can allow yourself to be.” </p>
<p>He lets Ben’s words wash over him, calming some of the storm that’s waging inside of him. His eyes are sincere and warm, making it so hard for Callum not to get lost in them like he’s wanted, fought against, so many times before. The difference now though is that he’s allowed to do it. He’s allowed to lean forward and capture Ben’s lips in a soft kiss, because he’s done doing the scary part, the part where he has to lay himself bare for the world to see, and he can look forward to the future now. </p>
<p>“Can I kiss you?” </p>
<p>Ben lets out a little laugh, turning around so he’s fully facing Callum. It’s an unsaid invite for Callum to come closer, so Callum scooches forward, closing some of the distance between them. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to ask, Callum.” </p>
<p>He watches as Ben’s eyes go half-lidded, leaning forward to place one of his hands on Callum’s thigh. Callum only really has to tilt his head to close the distance between them and kiss Ben, he’s yearning for it even though it hasn’t been that long since he last kissed him, but for some reason he stops, not being able to overcome the last few centimeters. </p>
<p>It’s stupid and Callum thinks he’s stupid for having hang-ups about what’s probably only going to be a short, little peck in an abandoned park when they’ve done a lot more in public already; when he was all ready and determined to kiss Ben in front of half the square only a couple of hours ago. Sure, that was at least partly due to wanting to finally stick it to his dad and partly down to trying to prove Ben wrong about not being ready for this yet, but he still did it – open and proud. </p>
<p>Ben doesn’t pressure him though. He just sits close to Callum, thumb brushing over the fabric of his pants and giving Callum full control over what’s happening. And that fact alone gives him enough courage to finally press his lips to Ben’s, unhurried and barely-there. </p>
<p>It really is just a short kiss, barely long enough for Callum’s hand to settle on the side of Ben’s face, but it feels so good to be able to do this that he doesn’t care. He just enjoys the slide of their lips together, the feeling of stubble under his fingers and the way his chest loosens at the action, brain finally quieting in the dark of the night. </p>
<p>He’s really glad he texted Ben. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[2] </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben didn’t really expect to receive this particular text from Callum today. </p>
<p>He hasn’t done this in quite a while; having little dates with someone he’s very much interested in, grabbing a pint with them after work, eating lunch together in the afternoon. Or in this case, getting ice cream together even though it’s the middle of October and the air around them is getting a little chillier than anticipated. </p>
<p>It’s the sort of thing he has avoided in the past, because it brings too many thoughts of exclusivity and belonging to someone else with it, but it doesn’t feel as stifling with Callum as it did before with other men. He enjoys getting to know Callum better, finding out little things about him, discovering stuff he didn’t know before. </p>
<p>Like the fact that he likes to get ice cream in October. </p>
<p>They’re just stepping out of the Minute Mart, ice lollies firmly in their hands, slowly making their way through the market. </p>
<p>“Jay thought I was crazy when I told him we’re getting ice cream.” </p>
<p>Callum shrugs, not being able to keep the small smile off of his face that makes a regular appearance whenever they’re doing something together these last few days. Ben likes to see it, likes the way it lights up Callum’s face, so he tries to bring it out whenever possible. </p>
<p>“Why not? I really wanted it, so I figured why not ask you and get some.” </p>
<p>Ben thinks there’s a metaphor in there somewhere – something about the new Callum, who finally gets to just go after the things he wants. He doesn’t point it out though, settling on giving Callum a wink to show that he gets it anyway. </p>
<p>They’re silent for a minute or two, enjoying each other’s company and watching the hustle and bustle of the market around them, vendor’s trying to sell their things and music blasting in the background. It’s nice being in Callum’s company, infinitely better than having to deal with Martin in any way, and it’s calming more than anything else. Ben feels like he can slow down and just be, without his guard constantly being up, whenever he’s with Callum. It’s a welcome change from the rest of his interactions on the square at the moment. </p>
<p>“Do you wanna go for a drink later? E20, around seven?” </p>
<p>There’s some slight hesitation in Callum’s voice, almost like he still expects Ben to turn him down no matter how often they’ve done this already since he came out officially. Ben tries to not take it personally, he knows that it’s just Callum having to get used to dating a man and having to realize that he’s actually at a point in life where he gets to be with Ben openly and that Ben wants to be with him as well, but it still stings a little that he’s apparently not shown Callum that he’s up for this, for them, enough already. </p>
<p>“Yeah, course.” </p>
<p>Callum seems almost relieved at his response, licking a stray droplet of ice cream from the wooden handle. The action strikes a chord in Ben and he darts out his hand to place it on Callum’s arm to stop him moving. He seems surprised at the sudden stop and his eyebrows dart up when Ben steps closer to him and presses his lips against his for a moment. </p>
<p>The taste of the ice cream still clings to his lips and Ben really has to hold back on slipping his tongue inside Callum’s mouth to taste it even further, careful not to overwhelm him with too much too soon. He knows that they’ve already done the kissing in public thing a fair bit, but they haven’t discussed how Callum feels about public displays of affection yet, especially ones that involve a lot of intimacy. </p>
<p>The noise that escapes Callum as he’s kissing back sounds a little breathless, which makes Ben’s heart lurch in his chest. There’s want cursing through him at hearing the sound and he tries to dampen it because Callum’s not there yet and he respects that; doesn’t want him to feel any pressure about going faster or doing something he’s not ready for yet – it doesn’t matter that they’ve done it before. </p>
<p>When he leans back from the kiss, Callum looks a little dazed and there’s definitely some ice cream melting down his fingers, having been abandoned in favor of kissing Ben back. Ben doesn’t let him dwell or doubt this for too long, resuming his slow walk through the streets, Callum following him after a brief moment. </p>
<p>There’s a small smile on Callum’s face when he looks back at him so he doesn’t feel too bad about rumbling Callum with the kiss. They fall back into step with each other and Ben tries to hide the big smile making its way onto his face by taking a bite of his ice cream, welcoming the distraction of the flash of pain it brings to his teeth. </p>
<p>“Tell me more about your weird love for ice cream in October.” </p>
<p>“It’s not weird. I mean you drink hot drinks in the summer, don’t ya.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[3] </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re settled in the back booth of the café, fresh mugs of coffee between them, only waiting for their plates of breakfast to arrive now. </p>
<p>Lexi had bid them goodbye at the gates to her school, enveloping both in a hug before practically running inside to get to her friends. If Callum had noticed the other mum’s curious gazes at the new man beside Ben, he hadn’t said anything about it, only following Ben back to the square and to their earlier discussed breakfast plans. </p>
<p>“She’s such a great kid, seriously. Though I’m afraid you’ll <em>have</em> to buy her a puppy now.” </p>
<p>Callum takes a sip of his coffee while Ben huffs out a laugh. There’s no way he’s getting her a puppy no matter how much his little girl begged for it. Last month, she was dead set on having a bunny and he doesn’t doubt that she’ll change her mind soon – probably wanting a cat or something else this time. </p>
<p>“Don’t you encourage her. She wants a different pet every other week; she’s a proper little diva.” </p>
<p>“Oh, takes after her dad then.” </p>
<p>They share a quiet laugh with each other, basking in the normalcy of having breakfast together after dropping off Ben’s daughter at school together. It seems so strangely domestic for the life they’re normally living, but neither of them can really deny that it feels good, really good. It’s a welcome change from the last few months of uncertainty, of longing and frustration for both of them. </p>
<p>It feels like finally being able to breathe when you break through the surface of the water after being submerged for a while. </p>
<p>Ben sobers a bit but still keeps the small smile on his face when he catches Callum’s eyes next. </p>
<p>“She really likes you.” </p>
<p>He doesn’t follow up with anything else but he’s certain that his eyes must scream <em>like father, like daughter</em>. Callum doesn’t say anything either, just regards Ben for a moment, eyes warm and full of underlying words and emotions. </p>
<p>There seems to be a conversation going on in his head though; unsaid things swimming around and trying to make their way out of his mouth. Callum opens his mouth once, twice, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he’s blowing out a small breath, shaking his head slightly like he’s trying to shake of the fear of saying whatever it is he’s trying to get out. </p>
<p>Ben waits him out, like he’s been doing for weeks now – always letting Callum do things at his own pace. </p>
<p>“About what you said about the phone call earlier... with the, uh, hookup. Are you still...?” </p>
<p>Callum trails off, evidently not really knowing how to pose the question at hand. Ben isn’t sure why exactly; if he’s uncomfortable talking about sex or Ben having sex with someone else, but he understands him anyway. </p>
<p>Ben’s hand falls away from his mug to rest on the table next to it, close to Callum’s own. He’s contemplating whether he should tell the truth, lay his emotions bare for Callum to potentially not reciprocate them, but he knows that Callum is nothing but nice. And he wouldn’t be cruel with Ben’s feeling – Ben doesn’t believe he could ever be wittingly cruel about anything – but his abandonment issues run too deep to be shed lightly, just because there’s a guy now, who’s nice and normal and steady. </p>
<p>But Callum deserves to be let in on at least some of his feelings, deserves to not feel anxious or worried about competing with anyone else for Ben’s attention. Because the truth is that Ben’s attention has been solely on Callum for a while now and there’s no one else that could capture it and hold it quite like him. Hasn’t been for a long time. </p>
<p>Callum deserves to know that he’s special to Ben. </p>
<p>“No. There’s no one else. Only you.” </p>
<p>It sounds like too much too soon. Like a huge declaration to make while they’re still only at the tentatively dating stage of their relationship but Callum takes all of the anxiety Ben feels about that away with just one of his beautiful, blinding smiles he gives Ben now. It’s almost like hearing it confirmed that Ben isn’t interested in anyone but him is enough to dispel any remaining doubts he had for them. </p>
<p>Callum seems to hesitate for a second, his hand twitching forward, before he reaches forward and slots their hands together next to their half-full coffee mugs. It throws Ben for a brief moment and he’s left to stare at the image of their entwined hands in the middle of the table, because he realizes that it’s the first time they’re holding hands in public. Not hidden away in the alley next to the funeral parlor but in broad daylight, in the middle of his mother’s café. </p>
<p>Instead of bringing attention to that particular fact, Ben settles on running his thumb up and down against Callum’s skin, not being able to keep the smile off of his face. </p>
<p>They’re interrupted by someone clearing their throat and Ben turns his head to see his mother standing next to them, two plates in her hands and a bright smile on her face. She looks almost teary-eyed when she sets their breakfast down in front of them, Callum reluctantly untangling their hands in the process. </p>
<p>“Sorry, boys, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Here you go.” </p>
<p>She doesn’t leave once she has set the plates down in front of them, instead she keeps looking between Ben and Callum, smile firmly placed on her face and hands on her chest. Ben rolls his eyes when he notices her doing it, silently begging her not to embarrass him when Callum is right here. </p>
<p>“Mum, please.” </p>
<p>“Sorry, sorry. I’m just so happy for you both.” </p>
<p>Kathy lays a hand on Ben’s shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze, before making her way back to the counter. Ben watches her until she’s back behind the safety of the cash register before he slowly, carefully, looks over at Callum again, a little scared of his reaction to other people, people they both know well and who are important to them, now witnessing any affection between them. </p>
<p>To his surprise, Callum looks as calm as he was before Kathy interrupted them, smiling somewhat shily into his baked beans. </p>
<p>“Sorry about her. She doesn’t know when to stop.” </p>
<p>“Nah, she’s lovely.” </p>
<p>It looks like the topic of conversation is over for Callum, who happily digs into his breakfast. Ben is a little thrown because he really thought this was going to be a bigger deal to Callum, but apparently they’re passed that stage now. Apparently, they’re dating now. Exclusively. With their friends and family bearing witness to any public displays of affection. </p>
<p>Ben can work with that. </p>
<p>Callum must take his surprised silence as doubt because he looks up from his breakfast to give Ben a reassuring nod. </p>
<p>“I’m serious, Ben. Everyone knows about us anyway and I’ve already kissed you in front of most of them. You make me feel comfortable, I appreciate that. But I told you before, I’m ready for this. You told me to do what feels right and I want you to do that, too. Okay?” </p>
<p>Ben can’t help but smile at him, feeling more than a little proud of this obvious growth from Callum. He didn’t think that Callum would notice him trying to give Callum the lead in everything they do, but he certainly had. </p>
<p>“Okay.” </p>
<p>He darts his hand out again, covering Callum’s that’s still, rather awkwardly, holding his knife in it, giving it one firm squeeze before he retracts it again. They share another shy smile with each other, it’s ridiculously loved-up for Ben’s standards but he doesn’t even care, before happily digging into their breakfast. </p>
<p>Ben decides then and there that they should do this more often. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[4] </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He wanted to go to the Albert with me, Ben. It was<em> his </em>idea. I’m worried about him, you know. I don’t think he’s gonna cope without Rainie.” </p>
<p>“He’s a big boy, Cal. It’s only three months, not a life sentence. It’s gonna be alright.” </p>
<p>They’re sat in one of the booths in the Vic, close to the bar but still somewhat hidden from the rest of the crowd. Ben’s had a long day, he’s said as much when they had met up here an hour ago, though he hasn’t elaborated on that any further and Callum got the idea that he’s better off not knowing. He knows who Ben is and what he does and if he’s being really honest with himself, it’s definitely at least part of the reason he’s always been so drawn to him. </p>
<p>Doesn’t hurt that he’s very handsome as well. A fact, which proves to become harder and harder for Callum to ignore. </p>
<p>They haven’t done anything yet since getting together properly and Callum is too nervous to bring up the topic when talking to Ben, afraid that the realization of how inexperienced Callum is will turn Ben off of him. He doesn’t think it will; Ben has made it clear that he’s happy to be here with Callum and to go at Callum’s pace, but there’s still fear niggling in the back of his brain that Ben will just up and leave him. </p>
<p>He’s trying hard not to pay it any attention. </p>
<p>Ben rips him out of his thoughts when he places a hand on his thigh under the table, squeezing once to get his attention. There’s warmth starting to curse through him at the action, that familiar thrum of nervous anticipation spreading from wherever Ben is touching him. </p>
<p>‘Hey, stop worrying about him, yeah? The first weeks are hard but it’ll be over before he knows it.” </p>
<p>Callum drops his hand to cover Ben’s, letting his thumb trace over the smooth skin under it for a few moments. He likes this more than he would’ve thought. Holding hands, just existing in the same space as Ben, sharing his thoughts and feelings with him and Ben sharing <em>his </em>day with him.  </p>
<p>He had never let himself think of this aspect of dating a man before, had always just thought of the feelings and the intimacy that comes with relationships that scared him half to death, but this is different. This normalcy of just talking and spending time with each other, getting to know the ins and outs of someone else, is more fulfilling and exciting than he ever thought was possible. </p>
<p>And it isn’t scary at all with Ben. It feels good; right. </p>
<p>Callum is just about to lean forward to place a kiss onto Ben’s way too inviting lips – he’s getting more and more comfortable with these public displays of affection – when Ben detracts his hand from underneath Callum’s own. </p>
<p>“Wanna get another round in while I nip to the loo?” </p>
<p>Callum wants to suggest that they take off instead, go back to his and finally take that next step he’s been dying to take with Ben again. But he doesn’t, instead he gives him a smile and a nod, watching Ben while he slides out of the booth and makes his way through the pub. </p>
<p>Mick gets to him only a moment after he walks up to the bar to order their beers, nodding and immediately getting to work once Callum gives his order. His mind is still stuck on asking Ben to stay the night at his place, so he doesn’t pay Mick any further attention. He’s almost struck by the realization that there isn’t much fear left when he thinks about finally sleeping with Ben again, only nervous excitement informing him that he really is ready for this. All of it. </p>
<p>He’s, once again, distracted from his thoughts by Mick placing their beers on the mat in front of him. Callum goes to grab his wallet out of his pocket but Mick waves him off when he’s starting to reach for it, stopping Callum’s gesture with a hand on his forearm. </p>
<p>“It’s on the house. Good to see you happy, son.” </p>
<p>Callum is a little overwhelmed for a second, doesn’t know how to respond to this without dissolving into a blubbering mess from all this fatherly support. They only had a brief talk about Callum being gay since the wedding that never was ended in him outing himself to half the square and it was mostly Mick reassuring him that he’s still the same person and that they all love him just the same.  </p>
<p>They hadn’t explicitly talked about him and Ben though and about what his substitute father figure thinks of him as Callum’s potential boyfriend. Until now he guesses. </p>
<p>“Cheers, Mick. I am.” </p>
<p>“I’m glad. Took guts to stand up to your old man and tell your truth. I’m proud of you.” </p>
<p>Callum mumbles out a quiet thanks as Mick gives him a wink and turns to take care of the next customer, leaving Callum behind to try and swallow the lump of emotions that’s suddenly sitting in his throat. Ben has already told him countless times how proud he is of him for finally having the courage to be himself, but it’s still nice to hear it from someone like Mick. </p>
<p>It makes all the pain and despair of his life prior to this seem worth it in the end. </p>
<p>He’s still in somewhat of a daze when Ben joins him in the booth again a minute after his brief talk with Mick and Callum is a little stunned again that this guy is really interested in<em> him </em>and wants to be with him. </p>
<p>Ben throws himself back into the seat beside him, leaning one arm across the back of the booth behind Callum’s head. His fingers brush against Callum’s shoulder from time to time and the action drives him positively mad tonight. </p>
<p>“You okay?” </p>
<p>His eyes are of that soft blue color that Callum has always found hard to look away from and they’re swimming with so much warmth and something that looks suspiciously like devotion that Callum can’t help himself. He leans forward and brings their lips together in a soft kiss, his hand finding its place on Ben’s stubbled cheek. There’s no hesitancy this time, no nerves making him pause or doubt his actions. </p>
<p>It feels a bit like a breakthrough. Like the final piece in this weird transformation he’s been going through this year; the one that finally sets him free to be no one but himself for the rest of his life now. </p>
<p>It feels like he’s finally exactly where he belongs. And that’s also thanks to Ben. </p>
<p>When he finally leans back from Ben, their lips disconnecting with a barely noticeable smack, he stays close, their foreheads almost touching. He thinks he can see Mick from the corner of his eye, standing behind the bar and grinning over at them, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t care that the entirety of the Vic can see how happy Ben makes him, because he does. And Callum thinks they deserve some happiness together after everything that’s already happened. </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah I’m great.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[5] </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It takes Callum some time to reorientate himself when he wakes up; it always does but even more so when he wakes up somewhere that’s not his own bedroom. He stayed over at the Beale house yesterday for the first time since he and Ben had started dating, after Ben had seen his suggestion of dinner and a movie at home for the thinly concealed invitation for an early night that it was. </p>
<p>They hadn’t done much more than what they did that night in the park and Callum is seriously thankful that he has Ben easing him into all these new experiences, still letting Callum figure out what he likes and what he’s comfortable with. </p>
<p>Ben isn’t next to him in bed anymore but Callum didn’t expect him to be. The whole reason why they were at Ben’s place last night and not in the quiet of Callum’s flat was that Ben had to bring Lexi to school this morning. </p>
<p>It’s only close to eight, according to his phone on the nightstand, and he almost thinks that Ben will come back to bed soon once he’s done, when he notices the notification on his home screen. </p>
<p><em> Ben: breakfast downstairs when you’re ready x </em> </p>
<p>It makes a wide smile bloom on his face, one he doesn’t even try to suppress because there’s no one but him here to witness it anyway, and he rushes to get dressed and ready in the bathroom to join Ben downstairs. </p>
<p>He hesitates a moment before rounding the stairs to the living room, because he thought it would just be him and Ben for some reason, but he can hear practically every member of the Beale clan assembled at the dining table. Those are definitely the voices of Kathy and Lola he can make out, mixed with the occasional interjection from Bobby and Ben. He doesn’t hear Ian though so, small victories he thinks. </p>
<p>Callum takes a deep breath. He doesn’t even know why he’s nervous to have breakfast with Ben’s family, he likes all of them and they all know they’re together already. Maybe it’s because Callum being here in the morning makes it pretty clear what they were doing when he stayed over last night even if they were careful with not being too loud. </p>
<p>There’s a pause in conversation when Callum takes the last few steps down the stairs and he tries not to squirm under the four sets off eyes turning in his direction all of a sudden. </p>
<p>“Morning.” </p>
<p>His voice sounds cheery enough to mask any nervousness still lingering behind it and he’s met by bright smiles and several exclamations of <em>good morning</em>. There’s an empty seat beside Ben, an empty plate and mug idly sitting on the table in front of it. He makes his way towards it, sitting down and reciprocating the little smile Ben sends him once he’s settled in, one of his hands finding the meat of Callum’s thigh. </p>
<p>“Morning, babe.” </p>
<p>The new use of the pet name combined with the warmth seeping into his body from Ben’s hand, that reminds him way too much of Ben holding onto his thighs last night, sends a jolt of electricity down his spine. It’s almost embarrassing how much he’s looking forward to repeating what they did already, almost gagging for it. Although he thinks it should really be no surprise that Ben proves to be as irresistible and addicting to Callum with this as he does with everything else he does. </p>
<p>The thought, the memory of it all, is what ultimately makes him lean forward to press a short but sweet peck to Ben’s lips, Callum reveling in the little intake of breath Ben does through his nose. There’s an even bigger smile blooming on Ben’s face when Callum eventually leans back again, though he’s trying to hide it behind taking a sip of his coffee, like he’s trying not to let his family know that kissing each other good morning is a completely new thing for them and that it positively turns his insides into goo in the process. </p>
<p>Callum tries to avoid looking at the rest of Ben’s family directly, but he catches Lola’s eyes when he goes to grab the French press. The smile she gives him is satisfied rather than smug; it looks like she’s genuinely pleased to see them both happy together. He can’t help but return it, the feeling in his chest almost making him feel weightless. </p>
<p>Ben is squeezing the hand still situated on his thigh – always being the most reassuring presence for him. The whole scene in front of him is almost sickly domestic. He’s sitting at a table with the guy he’s dating and his whole family and while just the thought of this would’ve filled him with dread only a few months ago, now it makes something warm settle in his chest. He’s come so far in just a couple of weeks and that’s also down to the man sitting right next to him. The man, who never gave up on him, who never strayed too far away from Callum’s side even when he didn’t want him to. </p>
<p>The man, who’s well on his way to become one of the most important people in Callum’s life. </p>
<p>He finds, as he tangles his own hand with Ben’s, listening to the back and forth of the family around him, that he can’t wait to see what their future together holds. Because he just knows, can feel it with every touch and every kiss they share, that this thing with Ben has the potential to be something big, something life-changing. </p>
<p>He’s more than ready for it. </p>
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